The Bells Have Made Me Deaf

If only tears were in my eyes
And I could cry.
False pity always to the fore
I ask, what am I lying for?
What?
Who knows?
Apart from me, that is.
For I do know, alas too well,
The self I am and should never have been.
I walked and sometimes ran
Along this road to hell.
But here I am
With helpful hands and hints,
The stares and flabberghasted face,
But worse, much worse, the love embrace.
Is it wrong to want to be myself
Or must I lead my sheltered life
Forever in that well intending love embrace?
Protected from my life so much
I break away through lies, false truths.
Too late, almost, to change my route.
Too late shall be the answer
Though no question has been asked.
I cannot hurt my mother
So, I hurt myself,
And you,
For now, poor dear,
You know me too.
Oh, if only
If only I could cry.

© 20th October 1980.

Posted on Wednesday, November 16th, 2005 at 12:17 pm.
Tags: Poems.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
You can leave a response below.